Parenting TIP – Maintain a healthy balance between enforcing rules and extending forgiveness and love.

Of the various parenting styles, researchers have found that the most effective is the style that seeks to create positive relationship and enforce rules.  Just as Jesus was a perfect balance of grace and truth, that is also a good model for us as we strive for healthy parenting.  Build relationship.  Expect obedience.

A protected playground

A helpful word picture related to this style of parenting is “a playground with a fence around it.”  A family should be fun. It should be a warm and welcome place built around enjoying God and each other.

Through planned activities and prioritized relationships, it should be a sanctuary of enjoyment and encouragement. It should be…well, like a playground!

But it’s a protected playground. To protect your family and the important family relationships, everyone needs clearly defined rules. This keeps the atmosphere of our homes safe. A fence keeps us from wandering outside the playground and into dangerous territory—and it keeps danger out of the playground as well.

A place of balance

A family of truth without grace is like a fence without a playground inside.  It may be a safe place, but it’s also a dead place.  It’s like a prison.  On the other hand, a family of grace without truth is like a playground without a fence. It may be a lot of fun, but it’s at risk of being interrupted with danger, tragedy, or destruction.

A playground with a fence around it is the very best.  It is a place of balance between grace and truth, where rules and relationship work in harmony to produce the desired goal.  Just as God is full of grace and truth, so are a successful marriage and family life. This balance is essential to a functional, happy family.

We are drawn to Jesus because He best exemplified the redemption and power that a balance of grace and truth brings. Your marriage and family can be that same force for redemption.

Are you out of balance?  Listen to the people around you. That’s a great way to recognize imbalance. For example, what does your spouse complain about?  What do others say about your parenting style?   Does this represent a lack of grace (too much fence) or a lack of truth (too much playground)? Balance can be found by opening yourself up to God and letting others speak into your life.

Our advice:  work to make your family into a playground—but don’t forget to protect it with a sturdy fence!

In summary: How can you help your child be successful in school?  Maintain a healthy balance between enforcing rules and extending forgiveness and love.

This advice was gleaned from a blog by Jimmy Evans a Marriage Coach and counselor, conference speaker, and author.